Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, and Kink with Dawn Serra-logo

Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, and Kink with Dawn Serra

Adult Content

No fluff. No lies. Just sex as we see it.

No fluff. No lies. Just sex as we see it.


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No fluff. No lies. Just sex as we see it.




295: Can we change our sexual preferences? Plus, a lesbian who wants to try sex with men.

tl;dr Are sexual preferences changeable? What if someone really just doesn't like short men or fat women? And what should a lesbian do if she wants sex with men? First up - BE SURE TO SIGN-UP FOR THE BODY TRUST SUMMIT!!! It's going to be incredible and challenging and so so so powerful. I'm not only a speaker but I'm also working behind the scenes with Alex to produce it for Be Nourished. Seven days of talks on healing our relationship with food and body? Yes please. Register, for free,...


294: Making erotic films with Inka Winter

tl;dr Inka Winter from ForPlay Films joins us to talk about making porn and why sexual healing and sex education is an important part of her work. Patrons who support at $3 and above, don't miss my bonus chat with Inka at Inka shares about her experience growing up in a cult in Austria where sex was mandatory and why that informs so much of her work at ForPlay Films. In this episode, Inka and I talk about the very real challenges of what it's like to create...


293: Sexual attraction, gay for getting blowjobs, & cheating with a sex worker

tl;dr Can you change who you're sexually attracted to? Is someone gay for getting blowjobs from a guy? Is it OK to cheat with a sex worker? Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus is several Am I The Asshole posts over at I want to know who you think is an asshole and who isn't, so come join me for some laughs and share your thoughts about these predicaments. Also, I love your emails. Send your questions my way! You can use the contact form at...


292: Sexual assault, oral sex, and regret after a threesome

tl;dr Bringing more racial nuance to sexual assault conversations, how to do oral sex when you struggle for breath, and how to deal with regret and hurt after a threesome. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there are TWO bonuses this week at One is all about what people got stuck in their vagina, penis, and rectum in 2019. The other is about the science of biological sex by.... a biologist. Tune in and comment with your thoughts. Be sure to send in your...


291: STIs, masturbation buddies, shame and fat bodies

tl;dr STIs and how to protect ourselves, men who want masturbation buddies, shame and fat bodies, plus Kobe Bryant's death. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at tomorrow. To kick off this week's episode, we are exploring some of the complicated feelings around Kobe Bryant's death, especially for survivors. We're also unpacking a new paper released by the CDC about STIs being on the rise. Check out the article at...


290: Wheelchair sex and being scared of sex

tl;dr How to have with someone in a wheelchair, being scared of sex and not knowing how to jump in. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at We are diving into the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - the behaviors that indicate a relationship is in need of repair and heading for trouble and what we can do about it. This week’s episode is you and me and your emails. Before we get to that, a few announcements. An important article on abortion...


289: When the sex stops after you move in together & non-binary pregnancy

tl;dr When the sex stops after you move in together, non-binary pregnancy, and why sex with fat folks is not revolutionary. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at Let's explore some of what we want to let go of and what we'd like to bring in for 2020, plus the most magical gift list I've ever read. This week’s episode is you and me and your emails. Before we get to that, a few announcements. First, you must read this magical thread by...


288: Squirting and incontinence, men who don't like sex, & large breasts

tl;dr Abuse in polyamory. Can squirting cause incontinence? Are there men who don't like sex? How to have sex with someone with large breasts? Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at It's a listener question about first time sex, birth control, and deep throating. Tune in to hear it and thanks for supporting the show financially. This week’s episode is you and me and your emails. Before we get to that, a few announcements. First, I...


287: Darcey Steinke on menopause, changing bodies, & a new way forward

tl;dr Darcey Steinke on menopause, changing bodies, & a new way forward MENOPAUSE! It's a thing loads of us go through that's fraught with misinformation, silence, shame, and PATRIARCHY. So, this week, I'm chatting with author Darcey Steinke about her new book, "Flash Count Diary: Menopause and the Vindication of Natural Life". I had a chance to read the book and chat about it with some friends in a queer elders book club I'm in. Darcey and I dive into the ways menopause is...


286: Exploring bisexuality, life after rape, Hashimoto's & dating

tl;dr Can someone explore their bisexuality while being in a monogamous relationship? Do things get better after you've been raped? How can you balance body positivity with Hashimoto's and how can you tell a potential date about your health issues? Patrons who support at $3 and above, you're invited to join the Explore More book club. We are meeting in December to discuss Jenny Odell's "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy", so check out my new post at...


285: Kai Cheng Thom on consent, healing, & pleasure

tl;dr Kai Cheng Thom on consent, healing, & pleasure This episode is generously brought to you by LOLA. Listeners, save 30% off your first month's subscription of period products (tampons, pads, and liners) and sex products (ultra thin condoms, lube, and wipes). This week it's me and Kai Cheng Thom. I AM SO EXCITED! Kai Cheng and I talk about so many things from how easy it is for sex positive educators to default to a mechanized view of sex and why checklists around consent...


284: Learning to be vulnerable, is cheating bad, and big penises

tl;dr How to vulnerable and honest, is cheating bad, and what to do about a big penis? News! Let's take a touch inventory. Who in your life can you share touch with? Not just sexual or romantic, but platonic, comforting, or familial touch? I've been thinking a lot about the ways we're so touch-starved here in the U.S. and Canada, and then an article came across my feed this week that I thought was worth sharing. Check out Vice's article by visiting...


283: Healthy relationship behaviors (green flags), community accountability

tl;dr Relationship green flags (healthy relationship behaviors), community accountability, and play party etiquette. News! How are you doing? No really. How are you? Share with me, if you'd like, and send in your questions because I'd love to hear from you. Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above? What are relationship green flags? In other words, what are healthy relationship behaviors? What's a green flag for relationships? Well, after...


Sex Gets Real 282: Squirting, fat-friendly therapist, & when a marriage falls apart

tl;dr Is squirting embarrassing? How can I find a fat-friendly therapist? What if my marriage is falling apart? News! This week, it's me and you! An awesome video called "How to Support Harm Does in Accountability" came across my feed this week, and it turns out it's part of a multi-video series by the Barnard Center for Research on Women featuring Mia Mingus, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, adrienne maree brown, and a bunch of other amazing folks....


Sex Gets Real 281: Sexy pics of your ex, herpes & pleasure

tl;dr What should you do with sexy pics of your ex and what if you still get off to them? How can you have more pleasure if you have herpes and your partner does not? And what should you do if you can't stop thinking of someone who drifted out of your life? News! The October Cohort of my 5-week online course, Power in Pleasure, is enrolling NOW. We kick off TODAY Sunday, October 20th and it's going to be amazing. Learn more and enroll here: (it costs as...


280: Nurturance culture with Nora Samaran

tl;dr Nurturance culture, rape culture, accountability, and boundaries with Nora Samaran. Don't miss the October cohort of Power in Pleasure, my 5-week online course dedicated to exploring your pleasure. Details are at Enrollment closes soon! This week, I'm joined by Nora Samaran, author of the essay, "The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture" and the recently published book, Turn This World Inside Out: The Emergence of Nurturance Culture, out...


REPLAY Sex Gets Real 221: Andy Izenson on alternative justice, resilient relationships, & masculinity

Radical love, resilient community, and never being discarded with Andy Izenson I am so excited to replay this episode with Andy Izenson. When it first aired, I received loads of emails as a response, and since I'm taking this week off to tend to me, it felt like a beautiful offering to tide you over until next week. I first saw Andy speak several years ago at a closing panel for Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, and I was in awe. You'll see why when you tune into our rich...


Sex Gets Real 279: Extreme self-pleasure shame and sexuality versus genitals

tl;dr Why coming forward about sexual assault doesn't "ruin" lives, what to do when you're deeply ashamed of masturbation, & does loving penises make a straight man gay? News! This week, it's me and you! First up, I share a fascinating and crucial thread by Nicole Bedera on why rape allegations do not "ruin" lives. Grab the link to read it and share it here. This is such a relevant conversation, and pairs perfectly with an awesome post that made the...


Anne Hodder-Shipp on sex ed, entitlement in relationship, & recovery

Anne Hodder-Shipp joins us to talk sex ed, entitlement in relationships, and sex after recovery and while sober. News! Work With This week, I'm joined by Anne Hodder-Shipp, an experienced and no bullshit sex educator who does incredible work on the front lines of sex education and behind-the-scenes helping with the marketing and promotion of many popular brands you likely know. We dive into the importance of authenticity in dating and...


Sex Gets Real 277: Cuckqueaning and the dangers of advice

tl;dr Creating community memories of abuse, why giving advice is a double-edged sword, attending ACA meetings, and wanting to cuckquean when you have trauma and no body confidence. News! Save 40% off your first subscription with LOLA and your pads, tampons, wipes, condoms, and more can be discreetly delivered right to your door on YOUR schedule. They are generously sponsoring this episode. Listeners save 40% when they go to and use promo code SGR at checkout. First up, I...